I’m going on a rant, try to bear with me.
I love the mall, and I hate the mall. My small (almost infinitesimal) social phobias tend to keep me out of the mall, but sometimes ya just gotta go. I had to go this last week because I had a bridal shower to go to. Turns out they frown upon showing up empty handed. Our local mall has a Bed, Bath and Beyond in it, and as anyone who has ever heard of wedding registry knows it is one of those places to register at. It’s like the poor man’s Tiffany’s, of you know, home crap.
I would say that I have road rage, and anyone who knows me and has ever been in a car with me while I’m driving (and occasionally as a passenger) would agree. I have gotten out of my car 3 times to yell at people, I have tailgated people when they aren’t going fast enough, and more than once I have changed my destination of choice, to follow someone who has blown a stop sign (I’m curious about what the hurry was that caused them to almost run smack into me, at least 2 times someone has been on their way to Starbucks). People and their stupidity once they enter their car keeps me in a constant state of wonderment and fascination.
So, I’m on my way to Bed, Bath and Beyond when it almost happens again. Some idiot blows the Stop sign he had, and then proceeded to flip me off and (I could just barely make this out, I’m not so good at lip reading) call me a Stupid Bitch. Oh, that put me in a great mood and really made me want to go into the mall. I love wedding shopping when I’m in a pissy mood.
There are 6 entrances to this particular mall. I chose one that had a light at it so that when I came into the mall, I would have the right of way. Right of way is important to me since I have road rage issues. At my chosen entrance I had the right of way, and the people to the left andthe right of the entrance have stop signs. The asshat in question blows the stop sign. This has happened before at this damned mall, and that guy followed me around the parking lot so that he could continue to yell at me and call me stupid and swear at me.
I take issue with people who do this. I may have road rage; which means that I generally speed (I have had more than 2 speeding tickets and many more warnings for this same offense. I was even taken into custody once by the police for drag racing.) but I am not one of those people who doesn’t stop at the signs and lights. For the most part I obey traffic laws, seat-belts have saved my life. I also like my license and enjoy being in possession of it. I don’t want to have it revoked or have to go every fricken year to get it renewed because I have too many marks on my record. So, while I’ll never be able to say that I’m a great driver with an impeccable record, I can say that I haven’t been involved in too many accidents but none of them was my fault (I have the police reports and insurance reports to prove it!).
Now I’m going to make a plea. If you happen to be one of those people who go through any kind of traffic signal (unless of course you are like 200% sure that absolutely no one is around, not that that is an excuse either) please think of the person who you may almost hit. Do you know for a fact that they are alone in that car? Do you know that they don’t have a child or infant in that car? How would you feel if someone did that to you? Is there really someplace you have to be so urgently that you can’t stop for just, I don’t know, 5 seconds? I’m not saying don’t speed, this pot can’t call any kettles black on that count, just be careful. Please.
Whoa!
Planning your exit from the mall because of your “road rage” issues is a true sign of maturity. Embrace your faults!
I laugh whenever I hear “asshat”. It is just as funny to see it written.
Asshat is one of my favorite words. I try to use it whenever possible. I love each one of my faults the same and have named all of them. They are my imperfect, internal children. In my eyes, they are perfect faults.
Trust me. If you want to hate people who violate your right-of-way, ride a motorcycle in traffic sometime.
That said, one of the wisest pieces of advice I ever read was from the best motorcycling textbook I ever read, David Hough’s Proficient Motorcycling. And he, like you, admits to following people, putting his bike on the kickstand and going back to lecture people on how they fucked up. But then he says he’s learned better. His advice now is that it’s estimated that 1 in 10 people have some sort of mental illness, and so every time you think about confronting someone, imagine them reaching under the seat for Mr. Magnum. It sucks ass to not visit well-deserved divine retribution upon assholes, but it only takes one mistake to really fuck up your day.
Of course, if someone called me a stupid bitch, I think I’d hunt them down, too. Knowing good advice and following it are two different things, ain’t they?
I’m always scared for the people on motorcycles, you guys are so vulnerable. I’m surrounded by metal and feel pretty safe in my cars (I used to drive big 1980’s Chevy Monte Carlos, those things are huge and I never felt my engine in my lap when I crashed). But whenever I see someone cut off a motorcylce, I just cringe and can’t imagine ever doing that.
In all honesty I haven’t exited my car in quite some time. At least 5 years. The last time I did it, my husband was with me. He was scared for me, and that made me scared. When someone else is scared and you aren’t, you know it’s time to rethink how you handle your anger. I do still follow though, at a safe distance. I don’t get out and ask them what their issue was, like I said, I just wanted to see where they were going.
That was you? Kidding…
I once got into road rage when in the mall parking lot. People were doubled parked and hovering waiting for spots to empty (Christmas time). Everybody was in such a rush to get into the mall, they felt in necessary to hover in the parking lot for who-knows-how long. I drove to the back of the lot and found dozens of emtpy spaces. Not scattered mind you, all together. As I walked from my car to the mall, I passed the same cars hovering waiting for spots. I flipped off every damn one.
I’m with you there. I tend to park at the back of the lot come Christmas season too. My philosophy is I park in the first available spot I find. Every once in awhile I’ll find one close to the doors, but I got so sick of the parking lot stalking that I figured my karma would be better if I just took whatever the hell I could find first. This pays off, and actually is a lot less stressful for me and my passengers (if they’re brave enough to ride with me).
These drivers are jackasses! I hate when they screw up and then look at me like I did something wrong! Grrr.
Driving would be so enjoyable if there was no one else on the road.
“Right of way is important to me since I have road rage issues.” That is hilarious.
Having worked at a psych hospital, may I concur with Taoist Biker’s recommendation to be very careful to whom and how you express your dissatisfaction. That being said, please continue to share your dissatisfaction from time to time via blog post, as I enjoy it immensely.
I’m always happy to hear that my raised blood pressure can amuse others. Trust me, I have plenty of stories.
Geez… I thought I was reading an old blog of mine. I have often been accused of road rage. I’d like to say that it’s because I lived on the east coast for half of my life, but in truth I’ve always been impatient with slow drivers, students, teenagers, and stupid people. I speed and I make liberal use of my horn. But I do not cut people off and become incensed at those who do and then blame me for it. Other drivers suck.
I’m with you there, I don’t cut someone off. My biggest groan moment is when I see the Driver’s Ed cars on the road when I’m in a hurry. I just know that they have a jaded teacher in there just riding the passenger brake. I’m one of the most impatient drivers on the road. It’s apparently quite a club we have going here.
May I suggest a chill pill? I think you are one of those drivers that I try to avoid. But I enjoyed your post. You may like to check out a couple of mine:
http://caughtinthemiddleman.wordpress.com/2008/03/04/close-call/
http://caughtinthemiddleman.wordpress.com/2008/02/20/going-nowhere-fast/
http://caughtinthemiddleman.wordpress.com/2007/10/18/crash-bang-wallop/
If only the “chill pill” truely existed. If you know where I can find it, I’ll be more than happy to take your suggested “chill pill.” Glad you enjoyed the post though.
You are too funny! I a glad that you live in an area in which you can vent your rage to some degree. Here in Houston, I am forced to keep a poker face to avoid being shot for giving an offender the appropriate middle finger.
A few years back I was waiting at a light. It changed to green but the driver ahead of me failed to notice. I politely (I swear
) tapped on the horn to alert the fool. He proceeded to pull off to the side allowing me to pass him. He then followed me for blocks, honking his horn and flipping me off. He continued to follow me until I pulled into the Police Station.
Now I only curse or flip someone off if I am driving at night and they cannot see my actions.
If I had to hold back my emotions I think I would go crazy. I make liberal use of my horn and finger, and I honestly don’t know what I would do if I couldn’t do these things. You have my sympathies.
[...] was just telling Sarah that I don’t often vent my anger with other drivers. Living in the city of Houston, it is [...]