I have one again been inspired by Allison and true to form, I’m going to steal this idea.  She was inspired by another’s history of embarrasment.  Both of these lists cracked me up, so here it goes.

• When I was in Kindergarten I was basically a tomboy.  We did a Christmas show and we were required to be dressed nicely as everyone who had a kid was basically going to come and see this thing.  Well, my mom had put me in a cute (her words, not mine) dress and some tights.  For someone who never wore tights, this was itchy torture.  I had had enough of the itching so I picked up my dress, while still singing, and proceeded to itch the living daylights out of my legs.  My mom still won’t let this story go.
• I was (am) such a little bookworm, that in either second or third grade we had show and tell for after Christmas break.  We were supposed to bring in our favorite present and show it off to everyone else.  Everyone else in the class had brought in toys that they had recieved and I brought a book, The Secret Garden.  Everyone laughed at me except the teacher.
• I ran into a parked car trying to ride my mom’s 10 speed around the block.  I wanted to prove to her that I could ride a grown up bike.  I couldn’t figure out how the breaks worked and I was going too fast, so I chose to plow into a car.
• I constantly trip over my own feet.  Usually out in public.  In front of a lot of people.  This happens on a daily basis.
• I was once in a car accident where the person hit me on my passenger side.  I guess I blacked out for a minute because the next thing I remembered, there were about 4 guys standing around my car and staring at me.  When I finally managed to roll my window down, they asked me if I was ok.  I asked them why I couldn’t get this much male attention when I haven’t just been hit by a car.
• I proceeded to get out of the car “Dukes of Hazzard” style because I couldn’t get my drivers side door to open.  Turns out the locks were locked.
• My first car didn’t have a working radio, so instead of driving in silence I would roll down both windows and sing The Beatles “Yellow Submarine” as loud as I possibly could.
• I now live across the hall from someone I went to school with from Kindergarten through high school graduation.  The way I came about this discovery was by coming home late from work one night.  I had an armload (or two) full of my stuff from the day (work stuff, books, leftovers from my mom, mail, gym bag) and I managed to drop most of everything.  This resulted in my shouting an expletive and running into one of the neighbors.  He politely helped me pick up all of my crap, looks at me, and asks if my name is Sarah.  I reply that I am, he tells me my last name and I say yes while looking at him suspiciously.  He told me who he was while I silently died of embarrasement.  I had just come from the gym and was sweaty and probably stinky and had just been busted swearing, a lot.  I told him he looked good, to which he replied that he would see me later.
• Um, yeah, I snort when I laugh.  A lot, it seems to happen every time I laugh now.