I have this addiction. And of course it has to do with shopping because I’ve basically given up everything else that made me happy (smoking, yes it kills, but it made me so happy; drinking, since my husband really can’t, I don’t get my drink on as much as I would like to).
Let me get started here:
Hi, my name is Sarah and I’m a “As seen on TV” products addict.
Yeah…
I have a ridiculous amount of things that I have seen on those damned late night infomercials. Seriously. I see the commercial, and I decide I need it. I need it now. I need if for someone else. I need it, need it, need it!
But, you know that me, who needs instant gratification because god forbid she should wait for anything, can’t order it from the TV or internet. Nooo, I have to run around to any store that sells As Seen on TV products to try to find the item because I need to have it in my hot little hands right now.
Let me, if you will, list the things that I have run out to buy right now.
Bare Minerals: I love make up. I love easy make up. I love make up that doesn’t look too make up-y. I was still working when I started to get this. Since not working I have had to pretty much stop using it. Yes, I know everyone makes mineral make up now and I can get it much cheaper from somone else. This stuff, it’s really the best though. I have tried so many types. I have sensitive skin, and this doesn’t irritate it. It’s not too heavy, it covers the best, the brushes rock and the colors are pretty. I miss it so much. I’m sure my major motivation for finishing school and going back to work are just so that I can keep buying this stuff. The funny thing is, when I started getting it, this was the one thing I couldn’t find in the stores yet. I actually had to order it online. It took for-fucking-ever for it to come too. Now, I go to Target and they carry the starter kit.
E-Z Combs: They claim to work on any hair type and provide a firm hold while being comfortable and easy to use. To that I say…Ha! Lying bastards. First, let us address the “Works on any hair type” issue. I have short, thick hair. I have awkwardly short (a bob that is super short in the back because I don’t like my hair to touch the back of my neck, but is down to my chin in the front, with lots of stupid layers and bangs) hair. It isn’t the same length really anywhere on my head. So, sure it would work great I’m sure if my hair was one length of short but it’s not so it doesn’t work there. Next let us address the issue of “firm hold” and “easy to use.” Yes, the hold is most certainly firm. Let’s call it the $10 instant face lift the hold is so damned firm. I managed to get one into my hair and had to take it out an hour later because of the headache. Easy to use though, sure, if you have three hands because you need one to hold the first comb into place while stretching the second comb into place all while holding your hair into place so that it can be put into the damned combs!
Bumpits: First let me say how easily I fall for late night advertising. And secondly, yes, I’m aware that I am in beauty school and that they teach you how to tease hair and give volume without the aid of plastic. The problem is my hair. I color it and bleach it, a lot. That means that it’s damaged. Which means I have to do a lot to make it strong and healthy looking again. These products tend to make my hair soft, which I admit is a good thing. But was a better thing five years ago when the natural look was in. Now everyone wants big hair and my hair can’t do big without two cans of super hold hairspray. So, like a sucker (yes, I’m aware of it) I bought these damned things and you know what, while they look weird in the commercials, they acutally freakin’ work. Then again, I’m blessed with thick hair which makes them easy to cover up. I wouldn’t recommend for someone with thinner hair or light hair. Blondes would have a hard time rocking these because unless you order them from the website, you ain’t gonna find them in the lighter colors. So laugh if you will, or find me and smash it down on my head, but at least I have the big hair for a few hours.
Shamwow!: The guy in the commercial was so hilarious that I initially said I would never get them. Then I went to my mom’s house one day and she had them. I used one for something, I can’t remember what, but they were like a little miracle. These things honestly suck up a ridiculous amount of liquid. I washed my make up brushes the other night at like 9:00 (What? Don’t judge me. Just because I did nothing all day and randomly decided to clean at 9:00 at night means nothing other than pure boredom). I knew I had to go to school the next day, therefore I needed to put make up on, therefore I needed my brushes to be dry. I used one of these to dry the brushes a little and the next day at 5:30 in the morning they were dry. I have a wet floor issue in my car, there is a leak coming from somewhere but I can’t locate it. Regardless, if it rains too much my floors, mostly the backseat floors, have a standing water issue. I used one of these puppies to soak up the water. It worked. It worked really well. So, I keep one in my car, one in the kitchen to dry dishes, one in the bathroom to dry my hair a little (my hair holds water like a sponge) and I took one to school with me for the days when there aren’t any clean towels at school (I use them on the mannequin heads, not real people).
Smooth Away: Anything that claims I don’t have to shave anymore earns me at least trying it. Yeah, don’t waste the money. Doesn’t work. Does work to lift all the dead skin so if you need a really good exfoliator, this would do the trick. Don’t expect it to get rid of the hair though.
PedEgg: The commercial is gross. The part where the ”shavings” are being tossed is downright nasty. But, the damned thing still works. Gross at it may be, it works. For a little while anyway. I recommend getting an actual pedicure though. It’s much nicer. Especially the places with massaging chairs. Yeah, totally worth it.
One Sweep : Liars.
Microfiber Magic Sponge: Amazingly useful. We would go through a lot of sponges because I would wipe up eggs or something and get grossed out. Whenever I would clean the bathroom, I would toss the sponge that I cleaned it with because I would be disgusted with what was now living on the sponge. These can be washed. I actually need to go and get more because they do kind of lose their “sponginess” after a few washings, but they’re good. Very useful. The closest I get to being green.
Miracle foot/hand repair: I have freakishly dry skin, and I like to walk around barefoot. My hands are dry from being in water all day. This stuff is great. It’s not too greasy and it heals the cracks and stuff.
Turbie Twist: My hair is a sponge, I will do anything to cut my drying time in half.
Reuseable Dryer Balls: I guess it’s supposed to speed up the drying time. Yeah, sure, whatever.
Maxius Maxiglide hair straightner: The most expensive item I have bought from As Seen on Tv. I saw the commerical after being awake for 28 hours. I believed them when they said that it would leave your hair shiny and smooth. On the plus side, it did straighten my hair in one pass as opposed to the three or four I usually had to do with my old flat iron. Since being in school though, I have splurged on a professional flat iron for myself. Chi is much nicer.
One Touch: I needed a new can opener because ours had commited suicide. It was pink and I had coupons (plural, god do I love Bed, Bath and Beyond!) and a gift card, so I bought it. Pretty nice actually. Especially for someone who can’t focus on one thing while cooking. I can set this up, walk away and come back and the can is open.
Yeah, I’m so not proud. Mostly because this is only a quarter (I think) of a very, very long list…
*Hangs head in shame*